Showing posts with label Zen Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Zen Humor. Show all posts

Monday, 15 March 2021

A Zen Story A Day

What is the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning? Do you check your smart phone? Do you switch on the TV? If you start your day with a negative thought, this will impact your whole day. Just imagine how great your day will be if you start your day with a Zen Story? That's why I came up with this book - A Zen Story A Day. Start your day with a Zen Story and have a Zensational day ahead!

Now on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08YN6QSFB/





Sunday, 23 August 2020

As It Is

 

A monk asked, ‘What is the meaning of the coming from the West?’ 

Zen Master Mingzhen Hongtao replied, ‘It is as it is.’

~ Transmission of the Lamp, Vol. 5 (Tr. R.S. Whitfield) ~

----!!!!----

Zen suggests to look at the truth as it is. It doesn't support positive thinking, and it doesn't promote negative thinking. Sometimes people ask me why do Zen Masters condemn religions, gurus and scriptures so much? Why don't we see the positive aspects of them and ignore the negative things? Why are we so negative? Today's post is for so-called Positive Thinkers!

In the current times, the corona has killed so many people, and scientists are working on inventing a vaccine for it. How negative they are! Due to corona, the pollution level has reduced, and the rivers have become clean. These negative scientists should practice positive thinking and create more viruses!

Suppose you have brain-tumour and you go to the doctor. Should the doctor treat you, or should he say how negative you are? You are not looking at 5 feet 8 inches of healthy body parts and merely looking at one negative micro-sized tumour!! Practice Positive Thinking. 

Suppose you have a lovely friend who has helped you in many adverse times. One day he was drunk, and he tried to misbehave with you sister. Will you allow him to do so? How negative are you to stop him? Have positive thinking. Look at the fact that he has helped you so many times and allow him to rape your sister a couple of times. But you won't. You just want to pontificate positive thinking!

Next time if you see anyone preaching you about positive thinking, immediately slap him on one cheek and ask him to stay positive because you didn't slap him on the other cheek!!

No! Zen says, see the truth as it is. If you start ignoring the negative things, they will soon overpower the positive things too!



Monday, 30 December 2019



The Essential Sound of Emptiness


The disciple approaches the master and asks, "What is the essential sound of emptiness?"
The master replies, "What is the essential sound of emptiness?"
"You are the master. I don't know the answer, that's why I'm asking."
The master strikes him on the head. The disciple becomes enlightened.

~ The Finger and the Moon: Zen Teachings and Koans ~
~ Alejandro Jodorowsky ~



Sunday, 27 October 2019


FAITH-BASED SPIRITUALITY AND EXPERIENCE-BASED SPIRITUALITY


Japanese mothers used to try to curb their children’s mischief by saying, “If you aren’t good, a spook will get you,” or “a child snatcher will come for you.”
I remember being scolded like that myself as a child. Spirituality based on faith follows a similar model of trying to guide people using certain images and ideas. On the other hand, spirituality based on experience leads people to peace by having them perceive reality clearly, thereby ridding them of fear:

Wither’d pampas grass —
that was all it really was,
the ghost that I saw.

Zen is at the forefront of experience-based religions. I often say that Zen is not a religion. But if salvation is considered the task of religion, it is. However, unlike faith-based religions, Zen rejects concepts and beliefs as a means of knowing the truth. Instead it aims to help us perceive reality and to find peace of mind based on that reality. Reality is what we really are: namely, our True Self. When we discover what we are, we experience peace of mind and continue to live day by day in infinite tranquility and complete satisfaction. What more do we need?

~ Zen: The Authentic Gate ~
~ Zen Master Koun Yamada ~



Tuesday, 20 September 2016

-- Fooling --


Having entered the Dharma Hall for a formal instruction, Zen Master Yunmen said:
“Get out, get out of here! You’re fooling each other without end!”

Then Master Yunmen asked the assembly: “Is even to say what I just said a mistake?”

----!!!!----

The truth cannot be given  to you. You have to experience it yourself in deep meditation. So whatever can be said to you is false in one sense. If you understand that all these Zen Stories are nonsense and only your meditation is the essential thing then you are the true student of Zen. If you are not meditating and merely reading these stories then you are doing nothing else but just deceiving yourself. Don't do that!


Friday, 19 August 2016

-- The Hearty Laugh --

The great Zen Master Weiyan of Yaoshan, like many well-known Zen Masters, came to be identified by his place of residence, and so he was called Yaoshan. One evening, Yaoshan went for a walk in the hills. Suddenly, the clouds and fog parted, and the moon could be seen shining brightly in the sky. On seeing this, Yaoshan let out a hearty laugh. It was so loud that it could be heard for miles in all directions. ----!!!!---- You don't value what you have got. If people could see the moon once in 100 years, then there would have been so much crowd every 100 years just to watch the moon. But since it is available every day, you don't value it. This is why there is so much misery in your life. You are not aware enough. You are not meditative enough. If you start appreciating what you have, there can be happiness in your life too!


Saturday, 13 August 2016


-- The Words --


The Prime Minister invited the Master Huang-po to the city and presented his own written interpretation of Zen to him. The Master took it and put it on the table. He did not read it. After a short silence, he asked the Prime Minister, "Do you understand?"

The minister: "I do not understand."

The Master: "It would be better if you could understand immediately through inner experience. If it is expressed in words, it won't be our teaching."

----!!!----

The Buddha didn't read a single post on this page, yet he got enlightened. We have read so much about Zen, yet we are not! If you understand that all the posts here are nonsense and only your meditation is what matters, then you are a true student of Zen!



Tuesday, 9 August 2016

Book: Zensational Stories, Volume 1


Finally, a REBELLIOUS and UNORTHODOX Book on Zen Stories. These 117 stories will give you a free thinking and motivate you to meditate!

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01JTPAJ34


Saturday, 6 August 2016

-- The Enlightened --



Once there was a well known philosopher and scholar who devoted himself to the study of Zen for many years. On the day that he finally attained enlightenment, he took all of his books out into the yard, and burned them all!

----!!!!----

Truth cannot be found in scriptures. Scriptures contain only words. Truth is found in deep silence and meditation. Truth has to be found within oneself!
Down the ages religions have been deceiving the humanity by saying them that only their religion's book is the real scripture and the book of God. No book is book of God! All books are written by human beings. Read the books. It's perfectly OK to read the books no matter which religion it belongs to. But don't rely upon them. Rely upon your own meditation!


Tuesday, 2 August 2016


-- The Buddha Demon --


"If you seek the Buddha, you will be caught by the Buddha Demon; if you seek the patriarchs, you will be bound by the patriarch-Demon.
Whatever you are seeking, all becomes suffering."

~ Zen Master Rinzai ~

----!!!!----

These Zen Masters are wonderful! Such type of fun is possible only in a Zen environment. If you go to a Christian society and there you say 'Jesus Demon', or if you go to an Islam society and there you say 'Mohammad Demon', then your life is in danger!
Zen is only one which has made humor and iconoclasm religious!
Keep smiling and of course continue with the meditation by being a witness and not a seeker. All seeking becomes suffering. Don't seek. Just be a witness!

Wednesday, 6 April 2016

-- The Strange Teaching --                    



Zen Master Caoshan asked Venerable Qiang, “The true body of Buddha is like vast emptiness. When a thing appears there, it is like the moon reflected in water. How would you express this teaching?”
Qiang said, “It’s like a donkey looking into a well.”
Caoshan said, “You’ve said a lot, but you’ve only gotten eighty percent of it.”
Qiang said, “What would you say, Master?”
Caoshan said, “It’s like the well looking at the donkey.”

----!!!!----

Rumi has said that when he realized the truth he got to know that not only he was seeking the truth, but also the truth was seeking him! If truth keeps evading you how will you realize it?



Sunday, 3 April 2016

-- Te-shan’s Ultimate Teaching –


Seppo asked Tokusan, "Can I also share the ultimate teaching the old patriarchs attained?" 
Tokusan hit him with a stick, saying, "What are you talking about?" 
Seppo did not understand, so he repeated his question the next day. 
Tokusan answered, "Zen has no words, and neither does it have anything to give."

----!!!!----

Remember! This blog is only for meditators and only a meditator free from orthodox faith systems can understand these posts.
The existence is infinite and accommodates contradictory things – the day and night, the yin and the yang all are the part of existence. But words are limited. When I say day, it leaves night behind and so on. All the philosophies and religions are therefore culprit of the humanity because they have kept the truth away from the world by giving words to the world!
Understand this! A theist believes that there is God. An atheist believes that there is no God. And each of them believe that only their set of words and philosophy are correct and hence keeps fighting. But did you see, a child was there some time ago and one day it dies and becomes NOT. Being and NOT Being, both are the part of the existence. So both theists and atheists are talking about only one side of the coin. Words are always limited. The truth is beyond words. It cannot be expressed in words.

This is why Zen doesn’t give you any philosophy. It says: Just meditate and realize the truth in your meditative silence! This is why I say, a meditator cannot be a theist or an atheist. He understands that all faith systems are bunch of words and truth is much bigger than your words. If you are not meditating and merely reading these stories then you are doing nothing but just deceiving yourself!!


Tuesday, 22 December 2015

--Matter of extraordinary wonder--


Zen Master Hyakujo's monastery was located on Daiyû Mountain.
A monk once asked Hyakujô, "What is the matter of extraordinary wonder?" 
Hyakujô said,"Sitting alone on Daiyû Peak!" 
The monk made a deep bow. Hyakujô thereupon hit him!

----!!!!----

No one can give you the truth. You have to meditate yourself. By practicing meditation you start living in the present moment. This is why master hit him to imply that no one can give anyone the truth!


Friday, 4 December 2015

-- The Seat --


A monk asked, "Teachers of our order say to 'abide' by sitting in the bodhi seat. What is the seat?"

Zen Master Changsha said, "Just now I'm sitting. Just now you're standing."


----!!!!----

Being in the present moment is the Bodhi seat!!



Friday, 27 November 2015

-- The Most Important Principle of Zen --


A monk besought Zen Master Zhaozhou to tell him the most vitally important principle of Zen.


The master, excusing himself: "I must now go to make water. Think even such a trifling thing I have to do in person."

----!!!!----

These Zen Masters are themselves insane and will drive us crazy too! Master Joshu was such a famous Zen Master contemporary to Rinzai, though he did not use physical beating and shouting like Rinzai. Yet why did he not tell clearly about Zen? I suspect he doesn't understand the Buddhadharma at all!!! :)


Friday, 20 November 2015

-- Open The Eyes --


The monk Changzi Kuang once returned from a pilgrimage to continue his study with Master Shitou.  The master asked him, “Where have you been?”
    Kuang said, “To Master Huineng's memorial shrine at Caoxi.”
    The master asked, “Did visiting there bring you any merit?”
    Kuang said, “I've had some insight, but I haven't been able to 'open the eyes' of the awakened one.”
    The master said, “Do you want to 'open the eyes'?”
    Kuang said, “Please, master, help me do so.”
    The master suddenly kicked out his leg right at the monk.
    Kuang had a deep realization, and made a prostration.
    The master asked, “Why do you bow?”
    Kuang said, “It's like a flake of snow landing on a red-hot furnace.”


Thursday, 12 November 2015

-- Where Are You? --

Minister Pei Xiu came to visit Open Source Monastery.  When the head monk came to greet him, Pei pointed to a portrait on the wall and asked, “What is that?”
    The monk said, “It's the portrait of a famous high priest.”
    Pei said, “I can see the portrait, but where is the priest?”
    The monk couldn't answer.  Pei said, “Isn't there a Zen person in this monastery?”
    The monk went to get Master Huangbo.  When the master arrived Pei said, “I have a question, but no one's able to answer.”
    The master said, “Please ask the question.”
    Pei said, “The portrait can be seen, but where is the high priest?”
    The master suddenly shouted, “Pei Xiu!”
    Pei said, “Yes?”
    The master said, “Where are you?”
    Pei Xiu immediately understood.




Sunday, 8 November 2015


-- Hui-chung Expels His Disciple --


Tan-hsia paid a visit to Zen Master Hui-chung, who was taking a nap at the time. “Is your teacher in?” asked Tan-hsia of an attending disciple. 
“Yes, he is, but he does not want to see anyone,” said the monk. 
“You are expressing the situation profoundly,” Tan-hsia said. 
“Don’t mention it. Even if Buddha comes, my teacher does not want to see him.”
“You are certainly a good disciple. Your teacher ought to be proud of you,” and with these words of praise, Tan-hsia left the temple.
When Hui-chung awoke, Tan-yüan, the attending monk, repeated the dialogue. The teacher beat the monk with a stick and drove him from the temple.

------------------------!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!----------------------------
Boasting is a sign of ego.
But you are very strange. You can make even religion an ornament of your ego. You boast too much about your Guru, about your so called religion and your so called God. The bigger they are the greater you become. A Buddhist says - My Buddha is the greatest one, a Christian says - My Jesus is the greatest one. And I have seen similar dogmas in all the people of all other so called religions. And similar is the case of the followers of all political leaders too, without any exception. But what I see is that the emphasis is not on The Buddha or The Jesus or anyone else. Emphasis is on 'My'. Whatever is mine, must be great. This is ego. And the more ego, the more anger - the more hatred. This is why there have been so many wars on the name of Religion. This seems to be very strange, very irony! There are so many religions, so many dogmas in the world. Ideally, the world should have become very peaceful. But the case is just opposite.
No! Zen doesn't suggest you to become boastful of Zen. Zen doesn't even allow you to become a clinger of Zen. Zen says only one thing : Meditate. Be a witness of your mind - Be a witness of your ego! And suddenly it starts melting...
Meditate. If you don't meditate and just take an oath that now onwards I won't be so egotist then it would not help. The biggest problem with ego is that it doesn't allow you to meditate, because it is very painful to see that you are an egotist. Meditate! Zen says only one thing : Meditate!

Saturday, 7 November 2015

-- Yen-t‘ou’s Water Pail --



Three monks, Hsüeh-fêng, Ch‘in-shan, and Yen-t‘ou, met in the temple garden. Hsüeh-fêng saw a water pail and pointed to it. Ch‘in-shan said, “The water is clear, and the moon reflects its image.” 
“No, no,” said Hsüeh-fêng, “it is not water, it is not moon.” 
Yen-t‘ou turned over the pail.




Sunday, 1 November 2015

-- The Question --


Guishan asked Dasui Fazhen, “You’ve been practicing here with me for some time. Why haven’t you asked any questions?”
Dasui said, “What would you have me ask?”
Guishan said, “Why don’t you ask, ‘What is Buddha?’”
Dasui abruptly covered Guishan’s mouth with his hand.

Guishan exclaimed, “You’ve truly attained the marrow!”